Wednesday, December 10, 2008

News report

NEWS
Indonesia and Australia have agreed to step up effort against people smuggling after a spate of illegal arrivals in Australia. The president said he hoped recent trafficking cases involving scores of clandestine migrants trying to enter Australia illegally by boat from Indonesia would not disturb bilateral relations.

SIX boatshave been intercepted in Australian waters since September.

Indonesian police, acting in cooperation with Australian police, arrested two alleged trafficking kingpins last week.

OPINIONS
I think it is wonderful that Indonesia and Australia have agreed to step up efforts against people smuggling. Smuggling, especially smuggling drugs, is not only illegal, but it will also harm those which you sell the drugs to. Those people will be the victims of drugs and they will be addicted to drugs, their lives ruined. Not only that, drugs are also very expensive. But, if the authorities catch those who are smuggling drugs before they sell it, people cennot buy the drugs.

1 comment:

tsooc said...

Dear Amanda,

Your opinions are sound. I would like to point out a few wrong sentence structures here. You can rewrite these sentences as a form of practice.

- 'against people smuggling' --- usually 'against smuggling'
- 'Smuggling, especially smuggling drugs, is not only illegal, but it will also harm those which you sell the drugs to' --- usually 'not only' is not used together with 'but'. In addition, 'which' should be changed to 'whom'.
- 'drugs, their lives ruined.' --- usage of ',' is wrong.
- ' But, if the ' --- usage of 'but' here is not appropriate as the previous sentence and this sentence do not show contrast.

- You can also explain more about the bad effects of expensive drugs on the lives of drug addicts.