Saturday, September 13, 2008

Trapped

“Granddad, can we go down to the playground, please? Tim and his brother, Tom, asked in union. Grandfather, who always dotes on the two boys, said “Sure, let’s ask grandma to come with us to!” Together, the four of them headed towards the lift and chatted exactly about what games they would play when they had reached the playground. They were in high spirits but little did they know that a rude shock awaits them......

The door of the lift closed and was descending smoothly when they felt a jerk and the lights began to flicker. A haze of fear surrounded them, their heats thumping madly against their ribcage when the lift came to a halt and the lights went out completely. Tim, who was afraid of the dark, screamed his head off. Tom tried to force the door open but to no avail. Their grandmother pressed the emergency button but to no avail.

Just then, there was a loud gasping sound. Tim, Tom and Grandma all turned at the same time. To their horror, they saw Grandfather lying at a corner, drenched in perspiration and gasping for air. “I feel terrible...” Grandfather moaned in agony. Grandfather was as pale as a ghost. “ Asthma!” shouted Tim.

Immediately, everyone attended to grandfather. Grandma took out her towel and wiped grandfather’s perspiration. Tim, the smart alec, loosened the button on grandfather’s shirt for better ventilation.

“Is anyone there? I’m Mr Peter,” boomed a voice.. “Yes, its Tim! Help! we are trapped, please sent someone!”shouted Tim. Fear vanished in a few seconds. Tom could hear the lift mechanics working on the door on the lift. ‘Grong!’ the lift door finally opened.

Grandpa was sent to the hospital immediately. Soon, everyone was pacing up and down of the corridors in the hospital. Muttering prayers under their breath, everyone waited anxiously for the news of Grandfather. When the doctor came out of the surgery room, his face told it all- Grandfather had passed away. The doctor explained that he was really sorry and had tried his best. Tears rolled down Tim’s and Tom’s cheek. They cried their heart out.

Whenever Tim and Tom thought about grandfather, beads of tears would roll down their cheeks. This incident would be etched in Tim’s and Tom’s mind forever.

1 comment:

tsooc said...

Dear A.,

This story is quite complete. Good. You can also edit your story for grammar, punctuationa and tenses to improve. Why don't you get your friends to help you edit?